Dating profile tips over 60: how to sound like yourself

A good dating profile over 60 has a recent, smiling photo where your face is clear, a few lines that sound like you talking, and one or two specific details someone can ask about. Say what you are looking for, whether friendship, romance or both. Leave out the list of what you do not want.

Which photos should I use on a dating profile at 60?

Your main photo does most of the work. Choose one taken recently, in good natural light, where you are looking at the camera and smiling. Head and shoulders is ideal. Ask a friend or grandchild to take a few outdoors in the late afternoon rather than relying on an old holiday snap.

Then add two or three more that show your life: in the garden, on a bushwalk, with the dog, at the bowls club. These give people something to ask about. A few things are best avoided:

• Photos more than a few years old. The first meeting should not come as a surprise.
• Group shots as the main picture, where nobody can tell which one is you.
• Pictures with a former partner cropped out. The leftover arm is always noticed.
• Sunglasses and hats in every photo.

What should I write about myself?

Write the way you would talk to a friendly stranger at a barbecue. Three short paragraphs are plenty: something about what fills your week, something you are looking forward to, and what kind of company you would like. Most people over-describe their personality ("kind, honest, loyal, good sense of humour") and under-describe their life. The adjectives everybody uses tell a reader nothing; a detail tells them a lot.

Compare these two:

• "I am easy-going, love travel and enjoy the finer things."
• "I've just come back from the Ghan and I'm already planning the next trip. At home I'm usually in the vegie patch or arguing with the crossword."

The second one gives a reader three questions to ask. That is the whole aim of a profile.

How do I say what I am looking for?

Plainly. On Single 60s you can say on your profile whether you would like friendship, romance or both, and it helps to back that up in your own words: "I'd love someone to go to the footy with, and we'll see where it goes" sets a relaxed tone. Matching on the site also weighs things such as the relationship type you want, your interests, smoking and drinking habits and how far you are willing to travel, so fill those parts in honestly too. The features page explains how matches are suggested.

Should I mention that I am widowed or divorced?

It is fine to, and most people your age expect it. One line is enough: "I lost my wife three years ago, and these days I'm keen to get out and about more" is honest and forward-looking. Keep the details for when you know someone. If you were divorced, a neutral line works best; nobody needs the history on a profile. Our guide to dating after losing a partner covers this more gently and in more depth.

Example opening lines you can borrow

A first line that starts a conversation works better than one that sums you up. Use one of these as a starting point and change it until it sounds like you:

1. "Most Sunday mornings you'll find me at the farmers' market buying more tomatoes than I need."
2. "Retired teacher, still marking things: mostly other people's barbecue technique."
3. "Grandmother of four, owner of one very spoilt kelpie, and a keen but slow walker."
4. "I've finally got the time to learn Italian. I'm looking for someone to practise ordering coffee with."
5. "Happiest by the water, whether that's fishing off the jetty or just watching the boats."

When you message someone, do the same thing in reverse: mention something from their profile. "Which part of the Kimberley did you visit?" gets a reply far more often than "Hi, how are you?"

Common profile mistakes after 60

Leaving it half-finished. An empty profile looks like someone who is not serious, or not real. Listing what you will not tolerate. "No drama, no game players" puts kind people off and does not stop the others. Giving away too much. Leave your surname, street, workplace and phone number off; the site shows only your nearest town or city for good reason. Lying about your age. It is the fastest way to spoil a first meeting.

Does a verified badge help?

Yes. On Single 60s the ID check is free, and the Verified badge tells other members you are who you say you are. Many people check for it before replying, so it is worth the few minutes it takes. Members also earn badges such as Chatterbox and Most Popular as they use the site.