Romance scams over 60: the signs, the scripts and what to do

A romance scammer builds a fast, intense online relationship, moves you off the dating site, avoids meeting, and then asks for money through a crisis, an investment or a fee. The single rule that stops every one of them: never send money, gift cards, cryptocurrency or bank details to someone you have not met in person.

How common are romance scams in Australia?

Common enough that the government tracks them closely: the National Anti-Scam Centre and Scamwatch publish figures on romance scams every year, and most victims are first contacted online, through social media, dating platforms or forums. Older Australians are a frequent target because they are more likely to have savings, a paid-off home or super. Many losses are never reported at all, often out of embarrassment.

Why do scammers target people over 60?

Not because older people are naive. Scammers aim at people they believe have savings, a paid-off home or superannuation, and time to talk. They also aim at people who are widowed or living alone, because loneliness makes warmth and attention powerful. A scammer will happily spend months building trust before asking for anything. That patience is what makes these scams so painful when they come to light.

How does a romance scam usually unfold?

1. The approach. A flattering message from a good-looking profile, often someone who says they are a widower, an engineer on an oil rig, a doctor with an aid agency or a soldier on deployment. The job always keeps them far away.
2. The move off the site. Within days they suggest WhatsApp, Telegram, Google Chat or text, where the dating site's moderators cannot see the conversation.
3. The intensity. Long daily messages, early declarations of love, talk of a future together. Questions about your finances may be slipped in gently.
4. The excuses. The camera is broken, the connection is poor, the flight was cancelled. A video call or meeting never quite happens.
5. The request. A sudden emergency: hospital bills, a customs fee, a frozen bank account, or being "stuck overseas" without a ticket home. Or an opportunity: a crypto investment they have done well from and want to share.
6. The escalation. One payment leads to another, each with a new reason. If you hesitate, they become hurt or angry.

Romance scam warning signs to watch for

• They ask for money in any form, especially gift cards, cryptocurrency, wire transfers or payments through a third person.
• They want to move the chat to WhatsApp or another app very quickly.
• They always have a reason not to meet or video call.
• Their profile photos look like a model's or a magazine's, or their story changes from week to week.
• Their spelling, grammar or time zone does not match where they say they live.
• They ask you to keep the relationship secret from family or friends.
• They offer to help you invest, or ask you to receive and pass on money or parcels for them.

What does Single 60s do to stop scammers?

When someone tries to take the conversation from Single 60s to WhatsApp or another app, the site shows a warning, because that step is so often the start of a scam. Behind the scenes, behaviour is monitored for patterns typical of scammers, uploads are checked by a mix of software and human moderators, and members' reports feed into a reputation score. A free ID check puts a Verified badge on genuine members, so you can see at a glance who has proved who they are. No screening is perfect, so if something feels wrong, report the profile and block it; the moderators take it from there. The safety page lists every protection.

What should I do if I think I am being scammed?

1. Stop sending money straight away, whatever you are told will happen if you do.
2. Call your bank on the number on the back of your card. The sooner you call, the better the chance of stopping a payment.
3. Report the profile on the dating site, then block the person on every app you used.
4. Report the scam to Scamwatch, run by the ACCC's National Anti-Scam Centre. If you have lost money, you can also report it to police through ReportCyber, and IDCARE can help if your identity details were shared.
5. Tell someone you trust. You have nothing to be ashamed of; these are professional criminals. If it is weighing on you, Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
6. Watch out for "recovery" offers. People promising to get your money back for a fee are often the same scammers, or their friends.

Worried about a parent or friend?

Lead with care rather than alarm. Ask about the new person with interest, then gently ask whether they have video called or met. Suggest a reverse image search of the photos together. People who are being scammed often defend the scammer at first, so keep the door open and keep talking.